I ask a question at the end of every questionnaire.

It is What concerns do you have about your session? and nine times out of ten the answer is, "I'm worried my child won't cooperate/behave/smile/etc". And frankly, I have the same concern when it comes to my own kids at sessions, so hear me when I say, I get it! In the 7+ years I've been a photographer, I've compiled a huge collection of games, tips and tricks to help get kids to cooperate during sessions and end up with those natural smiles.

Session Prep

One thing I tell all my clients in my Prep Guide is to talk to your kids about the session before hand. Tell them they'll be meeting with me (or whoever your photographer is), that we will take pictures and also play games, show them my instagram so they can see a picture of me and also the kinds of photos I've taken of other families, you can even practice smiling in the mirror.

There are also a few items you can bring to your session to help your kiddos feel comfortable and happy. For younger ones having a comfort item is very helpful. Some photographers don't like including lovies, pacis, etc in their photos, but I LOVE including these items because it's real life! Snacks are okay too as long as they're not messy. Think cheerios, crackers, apple slices, water, etc.

Timing is everything. Timing for your session depends a lot on where your family is in life. If you know that witching hour starts around 5 at your house, let's plan a morning session. If you've got teens, morning just isn't going to jive folks, let's do golden hour. If your people aren't tired or hangry you're in for a much smoother session.

At the Session

What about the kid that no matter what is going to refuse to cooperate? Over the years I've seen it all. Mean muggers, hold outs, runners, tears, non-stop goofy. I have a few tips for these:

Rely on me. One tip I like to give parents is no matter what is going on and who is or isn't complying at the moment, you act like this is the best time of your life! I will take care of the kids and you just smile away! I have a whole armory of games, movement activities, and prompts for your kiddos to get them smiling and having fun. I also give breaks when needed and I like giving the kids control -spoiler: they eat that up.

Focus on the sibling. Sometimes a little peer pressure or jealousy isn't so bad. If someone isn't cooperating, all that might be needed is to focus on brother or sister. Play, laugh, have fun, praise the sibling and the hold out might just come on over to have fun too!

Embrace the chaos. Photos with littles really is just herding cats. You cannot always predict or control how they will act at the session. My advice? Embrace whatever they bring. If you've chosen me as your photographer then chances are you are looking to authentically capture your family in this season. No matter if they're happy, shy, mean-mugging or goofy, it's YOUR life right now! Sometimes those photos are the ones that end up being worth the most to you when you look back.

The No-No's

There are a few things to stay away from to help ensure your kiddos are happy, having a good time and are engaged in the session:

NO bribery - If you want to take your kids out for ice cream afterwards, by all means do it, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't keep reminding your kids about the promised treat all throughout the session. It takes kids out of the moment and they give you fake smiles for just a second and then go back to whatever they were doing until you remind them again. No one likes to be nagged and no one likes to do the nagging. It just makes everyone frustrated.

Instead go all in with your kids at the session: engage, play, laugh. If you're having fun, chances are they are too.

NO iPads before - This is especially for little ones. I know screens give you a moment of peace when you're feeling anxious about your session, but prying screens away from little hands always ends in tears or mean mugging. The juice isn't worth the squeeze, trust.

Instead turn on some fun music and get silly with a family sing along. Play I spy or another car game. Set the mood of fun and your people will follow suit.

NO discipline - Nothing ruins the moment more in a session than stopping to discipline your kids. If they are not physically in danger, hurting another person, or blatantly breaking something from your family code, try to let it go.

Instead try to redirect using the game or prompt I've given you in playful way or use the "rely on me" tip from above.

The main takeaway from this blog? Have fun and enjoy your family! Engage! Play! More often than not, if you are authentically enjoying your kids, they will enjoy you right back.